July 7

The Day My Life Turned Upside Down

Filed under Announcements, Blog by Frederic Patenaude

You will not find anything to buy in this article, as I have nothing to sell you. I just wanted to share something personal today.

You may have noticed an absence of articles on my website as of late.

The reason is pretty simple. About two months ago, my dad died of a heart attack, and I’ve been finding it a little difficult since to write as much as I used to.

Two months ago, I was just getting back from a trip to Quebec. I had recently relocated to Vancouver after a long trip around the world  then spent a week in my hometown to see my family and also ship a few things back to the West Coast.

My dad had also been spending his winter in the South, and he was back from his trip. Naturally, we were both eager to meet and exchange travel stories.

I saw my dad on only two occasions during my stay, but we did spend a good amount of time together.

On my way to the airport to leave, I was stuck in traffic and even gave him a call. He told me how excited he was to come visit me in Vancouver, and sounded just as happy as he ever did.

So I flew back to Vancouver, which from Montreal is about the equivalent of flying from New York to San Francisco.

Less than 24 hours after I last talked to my dad on the phone, he died of a heart attack at home.

I found out about it the next day. My brother had tried to call me, but my phone was on silent mode. I slept longer than usual, recovering from my trip. And only around 10 a.m. did I finally check my emails.

When you find an email with the subject line “A sad news” it really catches your attention, especially when it’s coming from your own brother.

When I opened the email, I read the short note that my brother had written, where he explained that our dad had died of a natural death and that he should talk to me.

Although I had always wondered “how” it would happen, I never thought it would be so soon and so unexpectedly. Because my dad did not have the healthiest lifestyle, I was expecting a sort of slow decline, but not a fatal heart attack at 63.

I immediately called my brother, and then began a whirlpool of emotions. I ended up flying back to Quebec, which felt strange because I was just there.

The following weeks were very difficult, as I was dealing with the sudden loss. Every time I would go to bed it was like an entire movie of my childhood was running before my eyes, along with a full soundtrack, and there was nothing I could do to stop it!

As time passed, we dealt with all the legalities of his death, but also gradually understood what happened to my dad on a physical and metaphysical level.

He died of a heart attack, but he had also been living a really unhealthy lifestyle, unable to quit smoking, regular drinking and never fully paying attention to his health.

It came as a shock when we discovered that he actually had called 911 that night. I even managed to obtained the recording of the conversation, and it was even more disheartening and gut wrenching to hear the last conversation my dad ever had with someone, in which he was trying to convince the 911 operator to send an ambulance right away.

Unfortunately, that conversation did not end well.

He failed to describe accurately what he was feeling, and the operator was under the wrong impression that his case was not an urgent one. She failed to pick up on the the subtleties and humanity behind the conversation, and acted very much like a computer would act if you would train it to respond to 911 calls.

It wouldn’t actually surprise me that one day they will replay these humans with machines.

“If you experience chest pain, press 1…”

Well my dad was too confused by the lack of oxygen that he made inaccurate statements to the 911 operator, complaining of “hip pain,” sweating and being uncomfortable, when in fact he just couldn’t describe what was going on in his own body.

The operator got stuck on the “hip” part and did not pay attention to the fact that he kept calling her “sir” even though she was a woman, and that he actually did know know what was happening, but knew that it was not good.

She wouldn’t send an ambulance right away, she said it would be 2-3 hours. My dad was shocked and very upset by this. So he just hung up the phone after saying by then it would be too late…

In the end he died alone, hopefully quickly.

This whole ordeal taught me a great deal, and although it’s weird to say, I feel I’ve become a better person because of it.

Maybe there’s someone in your life that you’d like to keep for as long as possible, but you don’t know how to reach them and convince them to change their ways.

I felt like that with my dad, but ultimately I could not convince him to change his habits. He never really thought what he did was too bad. He ate what he wanted and did what he pleased.

We all have men in our lives that just think they are invincible, and perhaps at some unconscious level, my dad thought he was.

Just weeks before his death, he was telling me how “he felt great” and that he “did not feel his own age.”

Unfortunately, everything catches up with us, and our bodies are so amazing at maintaining homeostasis that we often don’t realize what’s actually going on inside of us.

Here’s what I would like to say to all men:

1) Accept Your Mortality, and Its Consequences

For a man to grow up into a fully mature adult, he has to accept his own mortality. Many spiritual teachings and psychology research talk about this “growing up” process for a man when he faces his inevitable demise and has to design a life worth living.

Men of all ages have found it inspiring to die for a just cause. For example:

– To die a hero
– To die after having lived a full-life in accordance to your highest values
– To die for something you believe in

Yet throughout ages, most men don’t die in such an honorable way, but rather as the consequence of their bad habits and lifestyle.

It’s not their fault, and we don’t blame them. Yet, each man must embrace the fact that he can choose in the now how he will live his life.

Temporary pleasures are an illusion, and although they can provide some relief in the now, they don’t lead to a life of fulfillment… to a life worth living until the end.

If you’ve lived a life worth living, when you die, a lot of people are going to grieve your passing for a long time.

Accept your mortality. Accept that you can choose to die for a just cause, but also that in most cases, the greatest honor is to live a long and happy life while caring for your loved ones, as long as you can.

2) Don’t Think Your Invincible

Most men, in some way or another, think they are somewhat invincible. They might have heard some stats, such as the leading cause of death being heart disease.

Most men in fact know many other men, perhaps their parents, who died of heart disease, cancer, or some kind of preventable disease.

Yet the same men don’t think that it’s going to happen to them anytime soon, so that they don’t have to worry about it in the present.

Did you know that one of the first symptoms of heart disease is death? Usually people find out that they have serious heart disease by dying!

That’s what happened to my dad. Although, all the signs were there, for example:

– He smoked, and had never been able to quit

– He had high blood pressure, but believed he was somewhat immune to other problems

– He drank wine regularly

– His diet was relatively poor and he ate what he wanted

My dad certainly believed that he would one day die of something. But I’m certain that he wasn’t planning to go at the age of 63 of a heart attack.

Yet many men, walking today, walk around, abusing their bodies every day, thinking they are invisible and that “judgement day,” when they’ll get to face the consequences of their unhealthy lifestyle, will only affect them in some distant future.

3) Accept That You’re Not As Healthy as You Think

You probably have heard that 90% of people think they are “above average” drivers. This statistic is kind of shocking, considering that in the law of average, most people are average, some people are below average and some people are above average. Yet when it comes to driving, everybody thinks they’re “above average” drivers!

Obviously, the vast majority of people are grossly overestimating their driving skills.

In health, the vast majority of people think they have a “pretty good diet.”

“I eat pretty healthy” they say. Yet everybody has a different definition of healthy!

Most people think if they don’t eat all deep fried food and eat a few vegetables, that it’s a pretty healthy diet.

Research has shown that people underestimate the number of calories they eat in a day. Brian Wansink, who’s a professor at Cornell University, wrote a book called “Mindless Eating.”

In his book, he describes how people always underestimate calories, and are especially wrong when they’re eating something that they think is healthy.

People may think a chicken caesar salad is healthy, when it has more fat than a burger. Or that a meal at Subway is healthy, estimating it has around 300 calories, when it fact it has close to 1300 with all the meat, cheese and mayo.

On average, Wansink found that people eat about twice as much as they think they’re eating, calorie-wise.

Instead of trying to find excuses for your diet and lifestyle habits, and try to only see the positive, start by accepting that you’re probably not as healthy as you could be.

For example:

– If your weight is significantly different than your weight on your last day of college, then you’re probably not as healthy and fit as you think.

– If your blood pressure is significantly different than when you were in your early 20s, then you’re not as healthy as you think

Accepting that you’re not as healthy as you think is a first step towards improving your health. If your health declines and you’re gaining weight over the years, you are NOT living a healthy lifestyle at all.

4) Be Aware of the Consequences

Many men eat burgers and fries when they go out, yet the same men think their diet is “pretty healthy” and that things like heart disease are more caused by genetics than anything else.

Face the facts!

Heart disease is mainly caused by diet and lifestyle. A meal rich in animal products and saturated fats clogs up your arteries and over time, this leads to serious heart problems. That cannot be avoided by hoping for good genetics.

5) Get Healthy Now

Every day you build your future. Your “present” is only the culmination of the actions you took, every day, for the past five or ten years.

Where do you want to be in 10 years?

If you want your “present” in 10 years to be without nasty surprises, get started today.

You may think that there’s something more important to do than taking care of yourself, but no. It’s now or never.

Imagine if five years ago, you had done something every day, like:

– Working out your muscles

– Practiced a new skill

– Eliminated some bad habit

– Invested some savings

– Read a book for half an hour a day

Where would you be today? You’d be much better off than you are now!

So where do you want to be five or ten years from now? It all starts with the actions you take today.

Start simple. What is the highest leverage lifestyle change that would make the most difference in your life? Maybe it’s to drop some pounds, or go raw, or exercise, or quit a bad habit. Start there!

There’s even a cool little iPhone app called “Streaks” where you keep track of how many days in a row you manage to keep a positive habit. Keep that streak going! Reward yourself after you’ve done it for 30 days in a row.

Another cool app like this is “Way of Life.”

You’re a man. You’re not a boy.

A boy wants instant gratification, all the time. A man thinks about the future, and works everyday to build it.

Start today.

—-

My dad was not a hero. But he was the greatest dad I thought, as I often told him. He truly was instrumental in helping me become who I am, and I am forever grateful to him for that.

The best I can do in return is to take everything I’ve learned from him, and do something with it. But also take the things that are unique to me, that perhaps he didn’t manage to develop, and make them world-class skills.

Any man can take the best he has and do something with it.

Of course, that applies to women too, but I wanted to say something for those men we all have in our lives.

They impress us. They disappoint us sometimes, they surprise us a lot. But we love them.

Yours for health and success,

Frederic Patenaude

PS: I said I wasn’t going to sell something, and that’s true. However I would like to remind you that I’m holding a webinar next week with Dr. X. You don’t want to miss it. It’s free to join:

http://MyOptInPage2.com/?pid=6421102

60 Responses to “The Day My Life Turned Upside Down”

  1. Kevin Gianni says:

    Fred, fantastic piece, thanks so much for sharing these lessons. I’m calling my mom right now… 🙂

    Kev

  2. Kathleen Keene says:

    I know how you feel, for sure. My own mother died at 56, probably from congestive heart failure, from bad diet/obesity and smoking. I was vegetarian at the time, but didn’t know much about health yet. I wish that I could go back and tell her that all she has to do is eat healthy/raw food whenever she is hungry, not starving and binging herself and eventually the weight will come off. The smoking, damn it, I hate it.

  3. Helene says:

    I am really sorry to hear about your dad. Sending love and light to you and your family. Thank you for still posting updates and inspiration in this time of distress for you.

  4. melinda says:

    i am sorry for your loss. i am thankful for your words. i have a close family member that is on this same path. i try to be tactful when addressing her health problems & the amazingly obvious fact that her diet is the reason she is ill..

    needless to say, not everyone is easy to bring over.

    be well. hold your loved ones a bit tighter these next days.

  5. Marie-Eve says:

    Nice article! Good continuation in your grieving process… I’m sending this article to my dad 🙂

  6. Dear Frederick,

    I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I in fact heard you a short while ago share your loss with us. I cannot imagine what you have been through.
    I nearly lost my mum in the 1980s which was a MASSIVE shock and really changed my life. At the time there was absolutely ZILCH about nutritional eating, and the medical people were useless regarding it, so I had to try and learn it myself. I remember going into a local health shop, and as I told them my mum had had a heart attack couldn’t stop myself crying. the woman who worked there was really sensitive and kind, and showed me a book on nustrition. I bought it and thats when I began looking into it, and I also tried to influence mum–not easy at first, but she came round. She had already stopped smoking and drinking, and I provided the nutrition.

    THANKS man for all your advice on health. You are a beautiful natured dude and I very much appreciate your emails.

    peace and Love

    Juliano

  7. Nancy says:

    Frederic,
    My heart goes out to you. Your father was a blessing. Love him, grieve him, praise him and thank him. You are today because of who he was. God bless you.

  8. HealthyHabits says:

    Thank you for this thoughtful post. It is frustrating not to be able to convince those we love of the importance of taking care of their health. Then, on the other hand, our mother died exactly five years ago of lung cancer though she never smoked, drank, or exposed herself to second hand smoke – she was 68. She was relatively healthy – so we all thought. It is a blessing that you had the opportunity to spend quality time with your dad so recently. I’m sure you have some consolation in that. Take your time to grieve and come back when you are ready – one day at a time.

  9. Tina Pruitt says:

    Thanks for sharing Frederic…very moving article. Peace and light being sent to you and your family….

  10. Sue says:

    Thank you so much for your open and authentic mail. My husband is just going through throat cancer (smoker for 30 years, unhealthy eater) and of course so are we, his family. I have been vegetarian for 10 years and so have my girls been, they get a green smoothie every morning and don’t complain too much. It bothers me that hubby takes what I give him but then goes out and eats sausages rolls and chips, nothing green would get into his mouth unless I give it to him. I am done teaching and preaching, although the kids still get it from me! but how does somebody find self motivation, when they don’t listen to their own body? I know we are only responsible for ourselves really, but we all love our families and try our best. And of course there is always the smoking, drinking, junk food eating exceptional person that lives to a 100! (which gets quoted as an excuse!).

  11. charlotte says:

    Sorry to hear about your dad. He died relatively young
    I know its is hard when we know the truth about nutrition
    and can’t get family to listen. But everyone is on their own path.
    Your dad just left his body suit so his spirit is out there for you to
    talk to and get advise from
    charlotte

  12. Jos says:

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. Thank you for sharing your thoughts in this very sad episode of your life.
    Love

  13. M Perez says:

    I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I lost mine as well and can sympathize. And I want to thank you for your heartfelt need to share your story. I believe it is a great way to find healing and it is also encouraging to others… I’m going to send this on to those whom I believe need to hear your words of wisdom and encouragement. It could be that your story may wake them up… Thank you for all you do, and for your love and concern for others. Healing is found in giving of one’s self, as you do well.

    May God comfort you as He only knows how.

  14. Thank you for sharing your heart-wrenching saga and our hearts are with you as you grieve your loss, and, celebrate your dad’s life and all he was to you. All of us, men and women, old and young, can spread the word about heart attack symptoms to save our lives and those of our loved ones. Symptoms are not always the pain down the left arm and clutching the heart.

    My mom died suddenly two years ago on July 4th, at a young age 81, from an odd heart attack. My mom did aerobics & yoga 5 days a week, ate healthy, drank ionized water, took chlorella & spirulina all sorts of supplements and we all thought she’d live to 120! Her vague symptoms caused her to wait way too long to get to the hospital. Despite her otherwise GREAT health, there had been too much damage to her lungs by waiting and, in the end 12 days later, her lungs could not transfer enough oxygen to her blood to sustain her life. We took her home to die. She was completely aware of it all and that she had precipitated her own death by waiting too long.

    It bears mentioning that women often experience heart attacks differently. I share this information whenever I can, and it can be ANY or ALL of these:
    – pain, fullness and/or squeezing sensation in the chest
    – jaw pain, toothache, headache
    – shortness of breath
    – nausea, vomiting and/or general upper abdomen discomfort
    – sweating
    – heartburn and/or indigestion
    – arm pain (can be either arm)
    – upper back pain
    – general feeling of sickness
    – NO symptoms – about 1/4 of heart attacks are silent
    WAITING TOO LONG TO CALL 911 IS MORE COMMON THAN YOU’D THINK!

    I’ve written up the full version of this info to print and carry in your wallet, post on your fridge, give to your loved ones. I send it out with my orders.

    The full info is on my blog and a link to the print out is there as well at:
    http://blog.urparamount.com/2009/09/13/heart-attacks-happen-be-informed-be-ready/

    Peace, love and solace to you and your family.

  15. Joe Weidman says:

    Hey Frederic!
    By my definition, your Dad is a Hero!
    Just look at his son and the impact your Dad’s influence is having on your entire community and beyond.
    We tend to judge peoples choices as Good and Bad but they are just labels…it’s all good!
    Cheers!

  16. Deborah Barnes says:

    I am always reminded of Herbert Sheltons words: “No one else can eat for you, drink for you, sleep for you, exercise for you….”

    We all make our choices, and the addictive nature of unhealthy foods and poisonous chemicals can entrap the best of us. Some people who even KNOW these things about health and the raw food diet, etc., are still struggling, and I have to admit I do as well. It is not always an easy path to tread.

    We will all face this eventuality, some sooner than others. It is a shame that your father died so young. Part of the pain we feel and deal with is the “what-if’s” and “if-onlies”…. and that is part of the grieving process.

    I believe the Bible’s promise that we were meant to live forever, and so death will always feel hurtful and un-natural. If you have a belief system or a religious bent, you might find comfort in the Bible’s words at Revelation 21, verses 3 & 4.

    It says there that, “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is with his people, and he will dwell with them…. and He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for those things have passed away.”

  17. Rita says:

    Frederic, I am sorry for your loss… I know the pain…. I have lost my whole family… Parents and 3 brothers….. It does get easier, but you never forget….
    You know he is with you…you can talk to him… He will take care of you….

  18. This is an amazingly beautiful and very sad piece. I am so sorry that you lost your Dad and also for him that he lost what he probably thought would be many more years of his life. You tell such a great account of it and I am so moved by your strength and compassion to take such a close and personal loss and reach out to other men to try to reach them. My heart and thoughts are with you.

  19. Linda Conners says:

    Dear Frederic,

    I know from losing both my parents and my dear Silvebear how devistated you must feel. I have been persuing metaphysical studies for the past 40 years and if there is one thing I know, is that we come into our bodies for a specific purpose and we know at that time when and how we will be leaving.
    If it is of any consolation, there isn’t a whole lot you could have done for your Dad except what you did do and that was to love him a whole lot. Obviously he loved you back a great deal. Silverbear used to call it graduation not death.

    Walk in the Light my friend, there are some big changes coming and I know you will be instrumental as a great teacher.

    If your down in Washington sometime, come visit. We have lots of room.

  20. Denise says:

    Dear Frederic , So sorry for your loss. Sounds like you tried to warn him. I tried telling my dad about unhealthy food also but he wasn’t convinced either. I guess you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink it. Just remember they now live in our hearts,and love is stronger than death.

  21. Fred,

    Sending healing love to you and your family.

    Your Father was a precious being – and he has left a powerful legacy in you, Fred, in the values and leadership you share every day.

    Remember, love always remains.

    Julie Ann

  22. Barbara Lowell says:

    Dear Frederic … one of the things we all share in the human dilemma is loss and death. In this case unexpected shocking loss makes it all the harder to digest, and we struggle to comprehend and we cannot. Thank you for your heart which you share so freely in all instances, not just this grave one. You make us all dig deeper into the question of what’s truly important in Life and what is simply babysitting our appetites for pleasure and immediate gratification. I have learned information from you, yes, but mostly I respect your noble and pure ideals, and you inspire me to accept no less for myself. Namaste and Aloha!

  23. Natalia says:

    Hi Frederick, the death of a parent is definitely a life-changing event. My father died at very similar circumstances at the age of 60. The ambulance did arrive but it took them over an hour to get to his appartment and it was too late by then. I also spoke with my dad on the phone the morning of the day he had a fatal heart attack and spent two-weeks vacation with him before he died. I know exactly how you felt because I also had to fly back across the whole country to his funeral just a few days after returning to work. It takes a long time to stop feeling pain but the sense of loss never goes away. I still really miss my dad and he died in 1993. You wrote a great post and you are obviously still grieving. Time is a great healer and your life will return to normal again. Thank you for trying to inspire people to become healthier even under these tragic circumstances. May love and peace be with you and your family.

  24. sans says:

    So grateful you shared this with us Fred. It creates awareness and conversation to share with others. May you find peace in the wonderful memories you’ll always have of your Dad.
    Sans

  25. Danielle Lemelin Herring says:

    Frederic, I am truly sorry to hear that you lost your father to heart disease at such a young age. I am also sorry that you have been through such a difficult emotional time. I too, lost my father at a very young age of 56, to a massive heart attack. The difference between your father and mine was that my father had open heart surgery, pacemaker, triple bypass surgery and still smoked and didn’t watch everything he was eating. I too, after the birth of my 3rd child suffered from congestive heart failure and severe pulmonary edema. What I want to say to you is that sharing what you have with the community is one of the best gifts that you could give. You inspire many people, and as I was reading what you wrote, it really hit home with me and made me think again, about the reasons that I wanted to adapt this raw and living food lifestyle. I hope that in the months ahead that you are comforted in knowing that your insight from your own difficult time in losing your father, is inspiring to many people. Blessings Frederic and thank you again for your openness in sharing~ danielle lemelin-herring

  26. Daralene says:

    My sincere sympathy for such a tragedy and loss.

    Your words of wisdom from one so young truly move me. Your father must have been a great man to have had such a special son. He must have been so proud of you. You have taken your pain and shared it to inspire and help others. Know that we all care and love you and are with you in thought and prayer.
    Much love to you and your family.

  27. john isham says:

    im 91 in good health stopped drinking alcohol and smoking 40 yrs ago
    at 75 i had a hole in my heart patched i eat healthy food and meditate
    daily and try to learn one new thing today so i want to thank you for the one new good thing today

  28. Frederic, I’m so sorry to hear about your dad. I’m guessing that somewhere back in the family tree that you and he are my cousins…

    It’s refreshing to read someone writing about their father and the lessons he taught (whether intentional or not). My father (and my mother) taught me some of these same lessons about my health. I, too, believe that many modern diseases are avoidable through diet and exercise and have worked hard in my life to overcome the family history of heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure and diabetes.

    Thank you for sharing your highly personal experiences. I will keep you, your father and your example in mind as I think about my own life and my continuing health and food saga.
    Heather Patenaude

  29. Julie Bruce says:

    Frederic,
    Thank you for sharing your experience of loss with us! I count it a privilege to be offered an opportunity to grieve with you. I have known loss twice from my immediate family – Mother, age 51 Cancer, Sister age 44 Cancer. I know the agony of trying to share the powerful ability of nutrition to heal and prevent disease only to have it fall on deaf ears or to be rejected outright. One thing I have learned from their passing was that what I know is not accepted by everyone and each person has their own path to follow. It is hard when you can see the destruction happening before your eyes but God is faithful to redeem these events and guide our lives through them. I just wanted to say that I am grateful that you have decided to pass on to us willing students so much knowledge from your experience with nutrition and raw food and I know that this chapter in your life will bring new insights to you in the understanding of the power of nutrition. Please know that many out here care for you and I for one am praying for your comfort and peace.

  30. Ivan Farkas says:

    Dear Frederic,

    Many years ago, my Zen master in Paris, Taizen Deshimaru, created a beautiful calligraphy that meant “Weeds grow even if you hate them, flower die even though you love them.” It shocked me like an electric jolt and I took it to mean that you don’t stop caring for your garden, and those whom you love, but in the end the Universe decides.

    I’m sure you have been an excellent son trying to change your Dad’s way of living, but in spite of everything, I hope you have not become exasperated with him and have enjoyed the years you had together.

    As a post script, my father was killed in world war II when I was one year old so I never experienced what it is like to have a father. I don’t know if he lived a healthy life or not, but a bullet through his head, at age 27!, ended it for him and for me. So, please remember with gratitude the many years you have experienced with your dad–unreasonable as he may have been–and I urge you to relive all the good things you have shared. Mourn the loss, forgive him for his trespasses and do not spend too much time with the “what could have been.”

    You are a great guy and you have a mission. I love and respect you for it. Keep going,

    Best regards,
    Ivan

  31. Jack V says:

    Thank you for sharing, and thank you for motivating.
    Although it won’t help the pain I can tell you, after reading your address “to all men”, your father didn’t die in vain.

  32. Em says:

    Dearest Frederic

    Your beautiful piece touched me so deeply…

    I am neither male, nor have I ever lost anyone significant to a sudden death, but I cried all the way through your words…my heart swelling with compassion for all people who have experienced either what you went through or what your father went through.

    Thank you for your strength in attempting to get males (and be default, females) to ‘man-up’, bypassing the adolescent culture of instant gratification for something more deeply satisfying and healthful…

    Much Love…

  33. Patrick says:

    Thanks for sharing Frederic. I pray that you have peace.

  34. Karen Pruneau says:

    I’m sorry for you, that your father had a heart attack. I’ve learned that a heart attack and stroke are symptoms of the same disease just affecting different organs. My husband had a stroke at age 50 – it didn’t affect him physically much at all – he got dementia from it. We always hear about people being left physically unable to do anything from a stroke, we never hear about the mind being affected, now hubby needs care. If you have high blood pressure, high cholesterol – DO something about it. After watching my husband, I’m thinking death might be better! I KNOW I do not want dementia or a physical disability myself.

  35. Sharon C. says:

    Frederic, I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your Father. So glad you had a good relationship with him. He must have been so proud of the way you help so many people. Blessings

  36. Amy says:

    This is so helpful for all the young men out there who are still so far from experiencing the repercussions of their actions…but life choices catch up with us! I will share this with the many men in my life, young and old. This was such an honest piece and I am very grateful.
    Blessings to your heart. <3

  37. Don Andrew says:

    Fred

    Wonderful post from the heart … thank you for sharing what you learned. Much love.

  38. JJ says:

    Sorry to hear of your loss, I know how much it hurts. My dad passed away in June 2 weeks before his 75th birthday after being diagnosed in March with colon cancer which had spread to his liver. He ate what is generally regarded as a very healthy diet, was vegetarian for over 50 years but recently added occasional fish back in to his diet, he only drank the occasional glass of red wine and gave up smoking 48 years ago. He ate a huge salad with no dressings at all for lunch nearly every day. He grew alot of his own fruit & veg on 2 allotments, cycled and swam regularly, went dancing several times a week, loved hiking, had many many interests. He always wanted to live to at least 110 and I always believed he would. His decline after diagnosis was unbelievably fast, yet I still thought my dad was invincible and was shocked when he died. My dads good health actually masked just how ill he was so diagnosis came too late for him to be able to fight it although he tried his best. I don’t know whether or not a totally raw diet would have actually made a difference, but I do know that if current general doctors advice was that he should go raw then he is the sort of person to have listened done so. Its a shame that all doctors ever seem to offer is chemicals.

  39. I feel with you, dear Frederic; it bring back memories of when I lost my own Papa, though he lived to a ripe old age in his native Bavaria..
    I phoned him from Australia on the morning of his 96th birthday, and he said he was not feeling up to getting invited out for lunch to a Yugoslav restaurant by his two sons….but , never wanting to be a spoilsport, he did eat a lot of meat with them….
    Two days later, he was found to have suffered a mild heart attack and was taken to hospital by his GP; he rang me and said he might just make it, but then, he didn’t, and we were told he would die within days.
    So I farewelled him over the phone, ten thousand miles away, trying to console him that, even if I was with him now, I couldn’t get nearer to his ear than at that moment….
    This was 15 years ago, and I cherish his memory more with every year.
    Parting with our loved ones gets them into a greater perspective; they live on- in our inmost heart.
    So, be patient; time for healing now.
    I’m more than twice your age, but you have been , in your own way, an inspiration to me, and I’m so glad I met you in Perth and could give you my Don’t Cook book!

  40. Mike says:

    Fred,

    Again, I would like to extend my condolences for your loss. Your sharing of this personal post is most kind of you, thank you! I would like to commend you for number five on your list. You have very adeptly phrased the most important point of living a life that we want to live. It begins with what we do right now.

    Please continue in all that you do. I am grateful that I have been blessed with knowing you and through your sharing, your dad.

  41. Carolyn says:

    I’m so sorry about your loss. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. Thank you for your authentic way of writing and sharing your story. It has made a positive impact on me and probably many others.

    Peace & Love,

    Carolyn

  42. Joy says:

    A very touching article….thanks for sharing it with us. Hopefully we will be able to change for the better after reading this.

  43. Paul Palmer says:

    Thank you Frederic for sharing insights acquired at so dear a price. How true they are! That you have been able to draw meaning and purpose from such a tragedy honors the life that was lost.

  44. Mark Lewin says:

    Fred, I am sorry for your loss.

  45. Viviane says:

    May you be surrounded with love, friends and warmth in those difficult moments. I hope that with time, great memories will replace the void that you now feel.

    There are moments in life that brings us back to what is truly important: friendship, loved ones, taking the time to enjoy life and each moment of it.

    But reading your message made me realize that what is also important in life is to take action on what is important to us and not postpone or doubt or wait for perfection or wait until a tragedy occurs. We don’t know how long our journey will be on Earth so we have to take the time and the action on what matters truly instead of running all the time and being sucked into the routine of life. I have been following you since your beginning on the Internet. You took action to start it back then. I always toyed with the idea of having a web site in something that is a passion for me. Well now I am developing it after many years of excuses.
    Thanks for your message. It helps to think through what matters.

    Toutes mes sympathies Frederic

    Viviane

  46. Kathleen says:

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Frederic. Your comments and thoughts are poignant. After turning 50 a few years back, I was forced to consider the next 20, 30, 40 years of my life and how I want to live them. How I want to look and feel.

    If you want to be active and vital at age 90, you can’t start at age 89. NOW is always the best time to start.

    I still talk to my parents, nearly daily. Lots of thank yous for all they did for me and asking them for strength to be a better mom and to help me cope with my challenges. Your father is listening, too.

  47. Thank you so much for the beautiful article Frederic. Most of my family is in a similar situation to a lot of other people (several symptoms of disease but not changing their habits) and it helps put a lot into perspective. I’ll be sharing this article with my family.

    I’m sorry for your loss, and I admire your courage to share this experience with us as it will not doubt help those who read it become stronger, more motivated people.

    Sincerely,

    Chris Randall

  48. Helena says:

    Fred, So sorry for your precious loss. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt story.
    Continue your valuable work maybe saving someone from living an unhealthy lifestyle and keeping those that do on the path.
    Helena

  49. Fizziwigs says:

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  50. Gavin R. says:

    Hi Fred,

    Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I am sorry for your loss. At this time I am going through a similar situation, but thanks to you I have the power to help make a change in the eating habits of someone I love dearly. My grandmother was recently diagnosed with esophageal cancer and I have been working to get her on a healthier diet through her treatment. Since I have been feeding her raw foods (smoothies, juices, greens), her body is responding very well. It is also influencing the way my family views nutrition and health. I hope when my grandmother does finally recover, she will decide to switch to more raw foods instead of the Standard Indian Diet.

    Thanks again for all your support. I’m sure your father was very proud of you.

    Best,

    Gavin

  51. Robbie says:

    thank you for sharing … sad and shocking. I just can’t imagine what it was like for you listening to the 911 call … my deepest love and blessings to you and all involved. Robbie

  52. Fred says:

    Hi Frederic
    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. Thank you for sharing your thoughts .I’m try to help my mother(75 years old) to loss weight around her hip area but it’s very hard for her after having 5 kids and when you’re geting old to get what you want. She’s listen and trying but nothing happening, but I’m still looking for her.
    God bless you and your family

    Love & Peace

  53. Helen says:

    Fred I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for writing this article. I did get to meet your Dad and enjoyed talking with him. He told me how proud he was of you.

  54. Bonni says:

    Fred, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my dad when he was still young. I am sad also to hear of how the triage person did not understand your dad’s dire situation. That actually happened to me. I had a catastrophic infection after having a baby, but it affected my ability to communicate-both in expressing things in words and in understanding others’ words. I remember that sinking feeling of realizing the doctor is not going to help, and the expectation to die. In the end, some family members intervened and spoke for me where I could not do so for myself. At one point I passed out while alone in my home. Fortunately shortly afterward people came into my house. But in that moment of passing out, I thought I was going to die alone. I hope you can process the anger and disappointment in others, and get it out rather than internalizing it. I hope writing this story and turning it into something that will help others will help you process. God bless. I appreciate all you do for us.

  55. Jindra says:

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. Thank you for sharing, thank you for motivating in this very sad episode of your life.

    Yours sincerely,
    Jindra

  56. Lisa Virtue says:

    I am terribly sorry for your loss. Thank-you very much for sharing this with the world – I believe your words will save future fathers. I sent this article to my Dad and begged him to read it. I have been terrified for him as he lives a lifestyle similar to your Dad and most North American men.

    Sharing your story is the best thing you can do to help everyone!
    Thank-you Frederic

    Lisa

  57. Pauline says:

    Thanks Frederic for sharing your heart with us. Good reminder for me, better go out and buy more fruit and veg. LoVe Pauline

  58. Noelle says:

    Beautifully written and expressed. Thank you so much for sharing.

  59. Lynn says:

    Frederic, you write so beautifully of your father and your love for him. How typically generous of you to turn your loss into an opportunity to teach us and urge us all to take better care of ourselves. Thank you.

  60. Luminea says:

    Fred, I am sorry for your sudden and sad loss, and am sending much love and light to you and your family. I appreciate your openess in sharing your feelings and grieving process. You have given me a lot to think about in terms of where I want to be in 5 years healthwise and in other respects. I will share this article with the people I love…I want them to be with me in 5 years too!

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